FRUS-TRAY-SHUN!

I came downstairs this morning to my kitchen laptop having all these red icons in the lower right corner. You know, down there with the clock. There's this Windows Security Alert that's red, McAfee antivirus in red, an AOL Active Security Monitor that's blinking red...
...so I guess there's a problem, huh?

Upon further investigation, I see that my anti-virus was attempting to run and was having some problems. I spent WAY too much time trying to figure this out before throwing in the towel and uninstalling my entire McAfee Computer Security Empire software suite (provided free by AOL -- see? I knew keeping AOL all these years was good for something!)

In fact, I'm writing to you from an unprotected computer!

That sounds bad.

I'm in the middle of downloading a new version of the McAfee Antivirus suite...we'll see how this goes. Don't worry, I won't let the computer sit unprotected for more than an hour or so. Too bad the computer has to be unprotected while I'm downloading the new software -- what's up with that???

So don't send me any viruses, okay?