MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #35

1. What is your must have gadget? submitted by Flying High With My Flyboy

That goes without saying.  My iPhone.  It's been a paradigm shift for me, but I'm becoming more and more reliant on it, and feeling great about becoming paperless!  Shopping lists, calendars, little notepads...all electronic!  And it integrates so seamlessly with my Macbook!

2. How does your adulthood compare to what you imagined it would be like when you were a little kid? submitted by L to the Third

I never thought I'd (a) join the military myself or (b) marry a military member...especially after watching what my mother went through as a Navy Wife for 27 years!  Offers by the Air Force for pay for my college was all the carrot-on-a-stick that I needed.  But I soon realized that being in a military community is comforting to me...and I'm now nervous about how my life will be when none of us in the household is military.  And that's coming up sooner than one would think!

3. What is your favorite chocolate recipe?  submitted by Our First Deployment

Pioneer Woman's Chocolate Pie!  It's DIVINE, and I do make it with raw eggs, I have to admit.  Ironic, I was just contemplating making one tonight...

4. How do you deal with military life when it gets to be to much or to hard? submitted by Combat Boots And Pointe Shoes


This is a toughie.  I've had my REALLY REALLY REALLY hard days before...and usually it takes a very little reminder somewhere about what we're here for.  


On 9/11/01, my husband was TDY to downtown Seattle and I was very afraid for him.  I was active duty at the time, and we were all busy with accountability and stuff, but I remember it was the unknown that is truly scary.  "Was Al Quada intending to target other large American cities?"  Precautionary measures were established in large metropolitan areas and my husband and I weren't even sure when we'd see each other again -- our colleagues were getting called to extended duty/deployment standby left and right.  We were both grad students at the time, so we wouldn't be deploying, but I still have distinctive memories of that fear of the unknown.  


After another 2 days in Seattle, Dave and his colleagues drove nearly 48 hours almost straight through from Seattle back home to Dayton, Ohio.  The longest week of my life...


How did I deal?  I leaned on my friends.  I leaned very heavily on my friends...and they came through for me.  Emotionally, and practically.  Don't ever shut out the offers for help...ever!

5. What piece of advice would you give a new Military spouse facing their first deployment?  submitted by The Albrecht Squad


See #4 above.  Spouses SHOULD be getting plenty of offers of assistance.  At least that's always a goal of mine, and when my husband becomes a commander later this year, it will be a priority of mine.


Don't be afraid to accept the help of others.  It doesn't make you weak...it doesn't make you a bad spouse or parent.  Allow someone else to watch your kids, even if it's 2-4 hours per month, to get out and spend some time to yourself.  I know of spouses who committed suicide because he/she felt overwhelmed with keeping up with the house, the kids, and the emotional stresses of missing his/her deployed spouse.  


There's no reason to be overwhelmed...if all else fails, pay a visit to your chaplain or the Family Readiness Center.  There are lots of programs out there...you aren't going through it alone!!!  Not by a LONG SHOT!