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Swimsuit Identity Crisis

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Saturday, March 29, 2008

Swimsuit Identity Crisis

So -- the first day of Spring has come and gone.

What does that mean?

Flowers, April Showers coming, pollen, allergies, deciding between Zyrtec, Allegra and Flonase...

Oops, sorry, not the direction I was headed.

It also means that when you go to the clothing retailers, the first items that will catch your eyes will be SWIMSUITS. I'm still shivering in a do they expect me to be in the mood for trying on a swimsuit?!?!?

Or worse yet, appreciating how I'd look in a swimsuit?!?!?

I told Dave yesterday that this year I need to get at least one new bathing suit.

"What's wrong with the ones you have?"

Where do I start?

I have 3 bathing suits. The elastic is going bad on my favorite one (circa 2002, got it at Land's End overstocks right after Jacob was born). Ever had elastic go bad on a suit? I don't mean the waistbands or arm holes, either...I mean, you give that Lycra a good stretch across your backside to put it on and when you take 'em off, the fabric doesn't retreat....

So I want to replace the Land's End one.

When you look in the stores, here's what is available (courtesy of Roxy):

Sorry folks, I'm TOO OLD to be dressing like this at the pool/beach now. I can't tote around 3-year-olds, don an inner tube alongside Jake and jump into the pool in it, either.

Here's more my speed:

Like the skirt?

Cost-wise, they're about the same. I'll end up spending about $100 no matter what. Dave can't believe that. But if I can get 5 years out of it, then it's like buying a $20 suit every year for 5 years, right?



At Monday, March 31, 2008 at 9:01:00 AM CDT , Blogger Paul said...

So many things wrong here...where to begin?

First, $100 is not unreasonable for a good women's swimsuit, sorry Dave. By "good swimsuit" I mean something that is functional yet flatters the wearer.

However, $100 is the least of Dave's problems.

Patricia, you're 33, right? 34? What the hell are thinking looking at a suit with a skirt? You're not fat - you'll have plenty of time to wear your mother's swimsuit when you're 60. There are more than 2 swimsuits in the world. Find the middle ground between suit for teenager and suit for grandmother.

If my wife spent $100 on a suit with a skirt I'd pitch a fit too.

Maybe the problem is your plan to wear the suit for 5 years. If my young, fit wife told me she was planning on wearing a skirt to the beach for the next 5 years, why, I think I'd have to gouge my eyes out.

But then again, maybe the suit would match the Prius and the Crocs :)

At Monday, March 31, 2008 at 9:15:00 AM CDT , Blogger Lou said...

Wow, Paul, I'm stunned into speechlessness...okay, I'm over it now.

Off to buy a $100 bathing suit!

At Saturday, November 1, 2008 at 6:23:00 AM CDT , Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is, however, incredibly easier to project yourself as the sexiest at the beach by putting on sexy bikinis available for sale at This statement holds true for the sole reason that as soon as you make your choice from the whole array of swim wears offered by us, they would perfectly complement your body, thereby making your figure attractive to the young and old alike. So, buy swim suit from us immediately and enjoy your day at the beach.


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